So there’s a girl at my old high school (I graduated) who I will call Bamaka. Bamaka has a lot of weeby qualities. She’s not exactly healthy, yet her everyday outfit usually consists of a tight camisole top and a short pleated skirt which lead to her unintentionally flashing people regularly. She also has a smell about her. Sometimes she wears large, ostentatious cosplay wigs to school that are digustingly tangled, as though she keeps them in a pile in her closet. And of course, she traces manga and pretends she drew it, and violently defends “her” work if questioned. I forget how exactly I met her, but a lot of my interactions with her were through Creative Writing Club. My best friend (Sammy) and I actually started our friendship through mutual dislike of Bamaka. Since Bamaka has many traits and I have had extensive interactions with her, I will break them up so as not to have a wall of text.
1 - Sammy and Bamaka
Sammy is in the same grade as Bamaka and has had the unfortunate luck of sharing classes with her. Bamaka for some reason thinks Sammy is a really close friend of hers, despite Sammy trying to be as standoffish as possible. At one point, Bamaka insisted that she borrow Sammy’s phone to text her “boyfriend” (I will call him Sebu, and he is a boy she met online who she has never met in person; she has a different one of these every year). Bamaka claimed that her phone was taken by the FBI to help solve her “rape” (more about that later), but it turns out her parents had taken it away for roleplay-sexting. That is exactly what she and Sebu did on Sammy’s phone, usually as Sebastian from Black Butler and some OC of Bamaka’s. She didn’t even bother deleting the messages, so Sammy and I read them afterwards. It was disgusting, the classic “oh sebu -blushes-” format, and definitely not appropriate to be doing on someone else’s phone. When Sammy asked them to stop, both Bamaka and Sebu turned on her, insulted her and called her names, and acted like they were victims. Later in the year, when Sammy started seeing a boy, Bamaka would look over her shoulder at her phone and comment on some pictures or text she would happen to see as if they were so scandalous and disgusting, when actually Bamaka had done worse ON THE SAME PHONE. She also made repeated comparisons between Sammy’s boyfriend and Sebu, always making Sebu out to be much better.
2 - Imaginary Problems and Bamaka
There are unfortunately some people who make up ailments or problems for themselves to seem special. Bamaka is one of them. The main “problem” of hers is that she claims to have been raped a number of years ago. The story always changes and several key details are missing, despite the fact that she tells the rape story to many, many people, often unprovoked and randomly. This is what makes me and many others think her story is a lie. As if this wasn’t bad enough, she has named a student in our school as the rapist. Now, I have had classes with this boy, and while he can be a bit of a dick he is nowhere near rapist territory. He could get in LOTS of trouble for this.
If there’s one thing Bamaka loves, it is fanfiction. She writes a lot of Soul Eater fanfiction, always pairing Soul and Maka romantically. They’re very poorly written and extremely author avatar-Mary Sue. After a little while, her stories started to feature Maka getting raped, cutting herself, having other mental problems, witnessing brutal murder, etc. One in particular was about Maka cutting herself regularly because she couldn’t admit that she loved Soul, and eventually downing a handful of Benadryl and dying (she’s resurrected afterwards). While this may not sound so awful as it is, Bamaka included several Author’s Notes at the bottom flat-out ADMITTING that this was an author avatar story and “she was doing in real life what Maka was doing in the story”. Ignoring the fact that the story included Maka slicing arteries without dying and other obviously impossible things, after reading this I went to school and looked at Bamaka’s arms (where Maka cut in the story). They were as smooth as a baby’s ass. No cuts. As someone who has struggled with self-harm, and someone with friends who were GENUINELY sexually assaulted, the fact that she was faking it for attention or to be “edgy” online made me very, very pissed off at her. She has also recently taken up the unfortunate “trend” of diagnosing herself with bipolar disorder and PTSD.
3 - Creative Writing Club and Bamaka
As mentioned before, Bamaka loves her fanfiction. For a while, she would submit it to the school’s Creative Writing Club, which I was a member of for three and a half years, despite there being a general consensus that fanfiction was not allowed (due to the fact that we could not critique it for content without knowing the context, and we actively discouraged critiquing grammar/spelling alone). Submissions were also supposed to be anonymous so that everyone would give unbiased reviews, but Bamaka somehow always managed to “let it slip” that it was her. The few times we agreed to critique her fanfiction, we had no choice but to only critique the grammar (which she was bad at). And she never listened. It was always “oh, Microsoft Word did it” or “it would make sense if you read the manga” etc. She would also pull out her battered copies of Soul Eater and show everyone pictures for reference. After two years of this, we flat-out banned fanfiction. When we weren’t reading her pieces, Bamaka never offered criticism for any other pieces - often she’d text on her phone and giggle loudly or draw manga characters. Creative Writing Club also sponsored open-mic “coffeehouse” events in the auditorium. Students could read personal writing, share a piece of music (though that was not encouraged so much), do a small skit, etc. Bamaka loved these. At first, she would get up on the mic and talk about her “boyfriend” problems - which eventually led to the club leaders making her get off the stage. However, that led to worse: her singing in “Japanese”. She would stand onstage for a good five minutes and sing something that nobody could understand, in a terrible American accent. Reportedly, she did this in class, too. When that didn’t fly, she starting singing English dubs of anime openings such as Black Butler and Soul Eater. She would also make loud commotion and be distracting whenever someone else stood up.
tl;dr : Weeb steals friend’s phone to have roleplay sex, pretends to have mental problems, forces bad fanfiction on a school club, sings in terrible Japanese, and desperately craves attention from everyone