When I was in fourth grade, I was moved from my old school to a new one. I was in the middle of my weeaboo phase, but was extremely quiet about it. However, it somehow got out that I read manga which at the time, everyone thought was porn. I was the freak of the school with no friends. I had also recently dropped out of Girl Scouts were my best friend was and I hadn’t been able to keep in contact with her due to a few family issues. I was alone..and I felt it. In seventh grade, I gained my first friend. I’ll call her Ivy as thats what she like for me to call her.
[Mod M: Adding a warning for rape and violence.]
Ivy had found me in the library and had asked me if their were any good books. I had quickly pointed out a few Stephen King books, eager to talk to someone. We began to talk and found out we both liked Inuyasha. I was able make a few friends through her and it looked like my life was looking up. Eventually, we got into Naruto and other such things.
We played around with it, writing terrible stories and the like and I was happy. A little thing about Ivy. She lived with her great grandparents who were not to good health wise. They also couldn’t hear well causing Ivy to be rather loud and between that and her anger problems, it made a lot of people not like her. So she was rather clingy to me. I should have seen this as a sign.
One day, while talking about Naruto, she said that she had a secret to tell me. She told me that Gaara was real and that only she could see him. She claimed they were in love and that he was all hers. I really didn’t like Gaara all that much so I just kinda went a long with it, thinking she was just being silly.
It wasn’t til the next day when she stabbed someone who also so happened to like Gaara that I realized she was dead serious. Luckily it was just in the hand, but she was still suspended. A smart person would have cut ties with her. But not me. I had some sense of duty to her.
Our phone calls began to get longer and longer and her clingy-ness got worse and worse. Than one day she told me she loved me. So began our relationship in hell. She had told me that Gaara didn’t mind her dating me because we were both girls and ‘yuri was hot’. I laughed it off at the time.
I began to spend more and more nights at her house. I began to speak less and less to everyone else. Anytime I would talk to anyone, she told me I was cheating on her and would threaten to kill herself. I would cry and beg her to stop…which she would. She would tell me how horrible I was and how I made her so depressed. She wouldn’t let me talk to my family soon.
I was so isolated that whenever she started to tell me how horrible of a person I was…I believed every word of it. She wouldn’t let me sleep at night because I was cheating on her when I did that…I was always cheating on her. I was always looking at someone wrong or flirting with how I walked or moved. I was a slut to her.
One night, while we were at her house, she forced herself on me. She was significantly larger than me at the time. I tried to get her to stop, but if I screamed or was loud, she would punch me. Hard. So I stayed silent, crying and begging her to stop. LAter when confronted with this, she told me that ‘Gaara-chan had told her that he was going to possess me and that no matter what, no matter what I said, that it was ok because he really wanted to be touched like that’. I felt dirty. I wanted to tell someone…but I had no one. She had convinced me that my family hated me and that so did everyone at the school. She had also convinced me I deserved it.
This continued on for a year. She would molest me and tell me that Gaara-chan had told her that it was ok. It was a waking nightmare. But I thought she loved me. I thought that if she didn’t love me, I would never have anyone else.
Than…near the end of my juniour year…I ran into my old friend from Girl Scouts, Hero. I confessed to her via text everything that had happened between me and Ivy and for some reason…when I said it…it broke the spell I was under. I realized just what was going on and that what was happening wasn’t right…nor my fault.
Afterwords I quickly broke of the relationship. I reunited with my family and told them all about my ordeals through tears. Unfortunently…I was never able to prove she had ever molested me. I had to sit through court hearings that basically said that I had wanted it and that I was a manipulative bitch. If I hadn’t had Hero by my side, I don’t think I would have made it through. Though I still suffer from quiet a few problems relating to the absuive relationship, with counseling, I’ve been doing better luckily.
Mod M: I am very sorry you had to go through this. That was terrifying. I am glad you managed to break out of it!