Welcome to the New Weeaboo Stories, picking up where old Weeaboo Stories Left off!
(You know the rules with videos guys)
MadThad 2.0 in the making, folks
Creepy Weeb from OKCupid can’t take no for an answer
So, this story starts on OKCupid, the breeding ground for inappropriate, creepy men, and how I met the creepiest, most inappropriate one of the bunch. Oh, and of course he is a weeaboo.
He messaged me with “Hi :)” and I checked out his profile. His pictures were of him in Assassin’s Creed and Ash Ketchum cosplay and he said some pretty weird ass shit on his page like “i will always be there for my friends no mather what, after all…i made a promise to her that i would…” and about he is the “nicest person you will ever meet”, how he is a Pokemon master, etc etc. I thought it was weird but whatever, I’d try to talk to him.
On my profile I have it set to “Looking for: Friendship, Short Term Dating, and Casual Sex”, but he only seemed to be interested in a friendship with me, thank God. We talked for a while about anime and cosplay and stuff and he was actually pretty pleasant and normal, so we added each other on Facebook. He was normal at first but then things got weird.
How I Met a Weeaboo
It was a few weeks ago when I happened upon the r/weeabootales, which led me to here, and I immediately became hooked. I’ve had a few choice encounters of my own and decided to share one today.
VP: Vice President of Anime Club P: President of Anime Club
A: Girl of my Brief Affections
My Parents figured that the best hobby for a bored midwestern 12 year old would be to learn a new language. I still down know why they picked Japanese (they’re both ethnically Indian), but by the time I was 16 I was marginally fluent in it. The twist here is that I barely associate myself with Japanese culture, none of my (primarily Indian) friends did either, and the only anime I had watched with any seriousness was Dragon Ball Z (didn’t even know what Hetalia was until I started reading r/weeabootales).
Submit Anon: Why NOT to Cosplay as Len!
Friend 1: Miku
Friend 2: Kaito
Friend 3: Meiko
Friend 4: Luka
We went as these characters.
So I was in 8th grade, and had just started dating Rin (still am) and we were really into Vocaloid, and so were my friends, espicially my best friends Miku and Kaito. The six of us decided that we wanted to go to a convention, and we decided that we’d go as the ‘Main’ Vocaloids. (Miku, Rin, Len, Luka, Kaito, and Meiko.) We all made our costumes and they all looked pretty nice. We had all bought wigs, ‘cept for Meiko, because she already had simmilar hair to Meiko’s. The first day went off without a hitch. We all hung out together and got asked for some pictures. Now, I’d heard rumors of Cons and Hambeasts, but I didn’t think they were telling the truth. It seemed that I was right because no Hambeast disturbed us. The group got 2 different rooms in a hotel that were connected, because we had planned to spend three days there. On the second day, it was like the first day, except for one point straight in the middle of it. I was just talking to my friends, when suddenly I smell something like what would happen if you mixed skunk spray and sweat. Then somebody grabs on to me from behind and screams, “LEN-TANNNNNNN.” I actually fell down, crumbling to their weight. Once I had gotten up, I looked behind me. Before me stood the definition of a hambeast. Greasy hair, smell and stained ‘cosplay’ all pointed it out. She was a ‘Rin,’ I think. She had a shitty wig and a Kagemine Rin shirt on, spouting something mostly english, but with some broken Japanese mixed in. All I understood was, ’ Watsahi wa trying to find cosplay as good as watashi. You have cosplay just as good as watashi-chan.’ Then she saw Rin and said, ‘Ditch that baka for kawaii loli watashi-chan.’ Me and my friends are all thinking that she’s mentally insane weeaboo, which she was. I told her, “I already have a girlfriend and am not looking for someone. Especially not at an anime convention.” Then sjhe freaked out and pulled me away from my friends and putting my face against her boobs and saying, “Does that feel good?” I would have normally punched her in the face, but she got me stuck. Then she took it too far.
She started reaching her hand down into my boxers and I just freaked out and tried to knee her in the stomach, but I couldn’t, because I was stuck.
But everything was fine after that because the security came in and took her off of me with about 3 people. She then got arrested. The con was ruined for that day, but the next day, Rin helped me have fun, but I was still traumatized, and to this day, still haven’t worn that Len cosplay. It’s been a year since then.
Apparently constructive criticism of Japanese cartoons warrants such responses.
Submit Anon: Well… This Exists, You Guys.
Okay, so I was on dA, you know, like the loser I am… and I came across some *coughcough* interesting artwork. I’m not gonna give any links, the person’s username, or any pictures because I don’t want to humiliate the person. But anyway, this is the actual, legit description of the post. I am dead serious.
Submit Anon: Weeaboos are like Vampires; they never age.
I will start this by saying, yes I was a weeaboo between the ages of 11 and 14. I discovered anime from a friend (also grown out of the weeaboo stage) and when an American girl transferred to our school, we became fast friends due to her weeaboo-ness and introduced it to all of my other friends. We assigned ‘spirit animals’ to each other and I was naturally the Fox. (To be fair, I still love foxes now, but because I can see them in my garden and find them cute, not because they are ‘Japanese and kawaii desu’. I was the whole deal; greasy hair, acne, over weight etc.
We had a ‘Bleach society’ where we would pretend to be soul reapers and fight hallows in the woods outside my house. I was the leader. Oh god I am cringing so much right now. So much. We’d make swords out of sticks and wear bad, bad cosplay, yelling in broken Japanese.
Weeaboo harasses my grandma to get my phone number.
All right. I’m just going to point out weebs do get this far, in this case, my grandma was a victim of a weeaboo attack. So here is my story.
Submit Anon: Oh Naoto…
Well, it’s about that time again! Hello, weebstories, I’m the one who posted up the story “Submit Anon: Naoto”. Yes, ‘tis I, J again, here with an update on Naoto.
Now it has been about 4 months since I last spoke with Naoto and about a month or two since my winter break. So, as I don’t go home every weekend, my brother has been interacting with Naoto for a week since I’ve been gone. As most of my classes last until 8pm & my brother is in high school, I haven’t spoken to little Comet since early February.
Let us begin.
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It’s Judgement Day Children - deadjosey