Welcome to the New Weeaboo Stories, picking up where old Weeaboo Stories Left off!
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Submit Anon: Face to Face with Deviantart Weeb
This is the story of H, and me, the writer, who sucks at summaries.
Submit Anon: Weeb’s Comic
Over the summer a friend of mine, C, worked a table at artist’s alley in a small, local con. I was attending the same con so I would periodically stop by her table to see how she was doing. There I witnessed one of the most painfully awkward, absolutely hilarious moments I’ve ever seen.
"How my friend and I discovered that we had the same stalker."
When I was a teenager, my first job was drawing caricatures in theme parks. I had never seen any anime before (well, Pokemon when I was like 9 actually, but I didn’t even know it was anime) but when I got to know my coworkers and socialize with them outside of work (free con admission!!!) it became clear that some of them were really into anime. Luckily, none of them we\re annoying weaboos and they could still draw really good non-anime style cartoons at work. Some of them even did really good cosplays of anime characters at cons and/or collected anime merch, and yet none of them were obnoxious at all. None of them tried to act super sugoi kawaii desu IRL or “glomp” people, etc.
This led me to believe that the difference between a weaboo and an anime fan is the ability to be civil in public, hold a job, maintain hygene, etc. (Previously, I had just wrongfully assumed that literally all anime fans were weebs, and I’m sorry for thinking that.)
Submit Anon: Tales of Neko
This particular weeaboo never actually affected me personally, but her behaviour would probably earn her a spot on this blog. In my high school, there was a girl in my grade (let’s dub her “Neko”) who has been a weeb for as long as I can remember. I warn you all now, this is going to be a pretty long post, since I’ll be recounting random events about her from the time I met her (9th grade) all the way to our graduation a couple of months ago. I’m also a pretty meticulous writer so please bear with me. ALSO, I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes I make!
For those who don’t know, in Australia, we don’t have middle school. After we finish elementary, which starts in 1st grade and ends in 7th, we transition straight into high school which clumps grades 8-12 together into one school. I transferred to this school in 9th grade, so I was around Neko for most of my high school life.
Submit Anon: I Should’ve Known
A year ago I was applying to colleges and the one I really wanted to go to (And the one I am currently in) was having a seminar. The usual kind where the college sucked its own dick for an hour or so while we all sat by and ate tiny cookies and drank coffee.
I’ll put it all down right now, I was terrified of going to school because I was worried I would repeat high school and be stuck with people I hated for 4 years. As well as possibly getting stuck with a shit roommate as is the thing that happened in College Media. Then from the other side of the row I see a girl who looks rather friendly. With her glasses and out of place attire she seemed the the usual nerd girl who just felt as out of place as I was. We chat and my mom befriends her parents, the whole thing feels great and I start to feel a bit better about school. Only one thing that bugged me was that the girl had asked a lot about anime and if I liked it. Truth be told I’m not huge into anime anymore, just the occasional show and when I explained that it seemed she only heard “anime”. Oh, I should’ve known.
Roll around to my acceptance into the school and orientation. I befriend a new set of people who are just as in love with Doctor Who and Supernatural as well as anime. These people are what I liked to call “responsible nerds”, those who just like something and fan over it but don’t do it disrespectfully or overly so. Then I run into my roommate at orientation (as you roomed with someone else at orientation and not the roommate you signed for, so people can mingle). She and I are sitting eating lunch and she says she wants to draw me. To note, I am a Creative Writing Major and my roommate’s in Graphic Design. So I agree because it wouldn’t hurt. Then she just stops and starts to draw herself instead. On the body of a fish.
I’m not talking a mermaid I’m talking a human head on a fish body with the fins and everything. I ask to look through the sketch book and nothing but horribly drawn animu dragons and people and a -lot- of self insert Naruto stuff. I began to get the inkling of regret but I couldn’t turn back now and what if she was really nice? For the rest of orientation she did nothing but ask to draw people in her horrible desu style and saying “fail” whenever someone or herself messed up (“messed up” being from tripping slightly over a rock to flubbing speech while talking). I also looked at her dA and I will tell you, for an 18 year old she draws like me back in my middle school phases (while claiming she’s freaking jesus of drawing)
I had realized my mistake but there was no going back, I was stuck with her. Come move in her parents are telling me to take care of her like I’m a baby sitter and I realize why. She can’t take care of herself, she cried non-stop after her parents left. She made me print a eulogy to her dead pet guinea pig so she could post it outside our door and then, the most weeboo thing of all.
She had a friend come to our room so they can read old fanfics and stuff for fun. Thing is that most people look back on those days as “oh man that was so bad” but not my roommate, she found herself to be the greatest writer ever and I had to sit there and listen as she told her friend how she was the first person to write for her Naruto OTP. I piped in and told her how that’s not true because Naruto fanfic has be around awhile, especially that pairing. But according to her “Well, we did it first.”
So I am now stuck for the rest of freshmen year with a weeboo who thinks she’s animu Napoleon.
Submit Anon: “Our presentation is on YAOI, Teacher-sensei!”
A little background before we begin: at the start of the school year, everyone in our US History class was assigned a project that could be done either alone, in partners, or in groups. We could choose the theme, and how we would present it to judges, as long as it followed the state-provided prompt of “Rights And Responsibilities”. A girl I’d been friends with since middle school, who we’ll call Luna, and I decided to partner up and make a Powerpoint presentation. The idea the two weebs in our class had was a bit…different. Let’s call them Sakura and England.
Submit Anon: My Brothers Girlfriend(?)
So this is a story about my brother’s friend/girlfriend thing. I doubt it’ll be as shocking as some other stories on here, but I guess it’s good for a laugh. Let’s call her KK. My brother, who is also a stupid weaboo who spends all his money on cosplay, figurines, etc, met her off of tumblr and decided to invite her over to our house- I (16), my little brother (22), and him (26) live at home.
Then decided to have her stay at our house. For days. Unbeknownst to my parents. But this isn’t about him!! This is about KK.
KK is 23-24 years old, I believe, doesn’t seem to wash her face, and wears anime wigs around in her daily life. She idolizes some stupid Madoka character and insists on her tumblr that she is her in real life. She’s incredibly rude, to the point of eating other people’s dinner without asking, leaving trash everywhere in the upstairs hallway, standing outside the door while my younger brother and I were having a private conversation, and worst of all, she refuses to clean up after herself. The number of times I’ve walked into our shared bathroom and found it absolutely blanketed in shiny bright pink wig hair clippings is beyond count, it’s disgusting. She and my brother also stay up shouting and laughing loudly until 5am regularly, regardless of the fact that my younger brother works in the mornings and I have school, and that our rooms are closely situated together. KK also seems to be a closet pedophile, if the amount of disgusting lolicon/shotacon she has on her tumblr and that she brings to the house to show my brother is any indication. My parents have tried to kick her out before but my brother just smuggles her back over whenever my parents go out.
I hate them, man, I wish they’d grow up and leave. My brother used to be kind of cool before he found tumblr, too. Now he’s just really gross and incredibly self-centered and bullying.
Submit anon: Weebs on a plane
I just returned from a backpacking trip in europe around the time of Anime North. Other than a few prior to my trip i dealt with no weebs. It was not until i got to the airport in Toronto. After flying seven hours and having about 2 to go to till my flight home boarded i was exhausted. So i thought maybe i would just get maybe an hour of sleep. I was so wrong. I had not been asleep for at least 10 minutes when I heard these people come over talking loudly. When i woke up and looked over it noticed it was 17 year olds talking one had cat ears on, one was wearing a hetalia t-shirt. Another girl was with them seemed to be embarrassed. They then pushed my laptop bag that had my laptop in it on the ground. I sat up and said, “Hey my laptop is in there!” The one who was embarrassed apologized and helped me. She’ll be called S. The weebs just ignored me until i turned my laptop on and began to upload pictures from my trip. My desktop background was of the British flag. The weebs saw this and ran over.
All but S came running over. They crowded around me giggling. They were saying, “Google USUK smut!” I explained that i would like to be left alone. S handed them some money and told them to go get food. After they left S apologized and asked where i am heading. I told her home as i had gone to Europe on a backpacking trip. She asked to see the pictures which i showed her. While doing this the weebs returned. One saw the pictures and recognized Big Ben. She screamed, “FELI She went to Europe.” The one called Feli came running over and fangirled. They began talking about their favorite ships again and what ships i like. I told them i am not into hetalia to get them to leave me alone. They looked like i just kicked a puppy. Feli looked the other weeb, “But its so great!” I shrugged and explained that i am more into actual history then an anime about personification of nations. To wich the other weeb who apparently was called by the other weeb Iggy replied, “But it is actual history.” I laughed and shook my head.
Both looked so mad but then S yelled at them to go sit down and to leave me alone. S apologized explaining she had taken her little sister Iggy and Iggy’s friend Feli to Anime North. She told me it was a nightmare and that she was looking forward to going home. I forgave her because it was not her fault. Soon it was time for me to board my plane. I said goodbye to S and got flipped off by the weebs.
Weeb repellant for Chinese girls
I had a rather unpleasant experience at ACen last spring. Although my cosplay proved to be popular and I met a lot of cool people, it also attracted unwanted attention. An older man (perhaps you would call him a ‘thin hambeast’?) approached me with a camcorder requesting my picture. I placed my belongs on the ground and posed. As I was walking away, he walked up to me, reached out a hand, and said, “Nihonji desuka?”
I’m not kidding. This man was maybe in his late forties, but his hair was greasy, greying and combed over to hide balding. He was wiry and slightly hunched over. Notably sloppy clothes. Sketchy camcorder. So how does one escape without being rude? I said in Chinese, “I’m sorry. I am Chinese. I am not Japanese. I cannot speak Japanese and my English is poor.” At least the man had the manners to apologize on the grounds that he ‘thought [I] was a young Japanese girl’.
Moral of the story: if any weeb with Asian fever approaches you, speak Chinese! Because while Japanese girls are perfect objects of desire, Chinese girls are like cheap knockoffs.
Don’t carry like that its disrespectful.