Welcome to the New Weeaboo Stories, picking up where old Weeaboo Stories Left off!
Submit Anon: This isn’t going to end well, is it?
It’s about time that I share with this blog my first weeaboo experience (which will likely expand, more on that later). Please note that English is not my first language and I therefore apologize in advance for any mistakes.
In this story the weeb will be called Tuna-chan and my (sane) friend will be called Pen.
It all started off with me volunteering to work in our school’s library. Like the college itself it’s quite a small little place, with not the widest range of books on offer, yet most likely enough to satisfy the odd student. It was almost always empty or very quiet because unfortunately there are very few people in our school who actually take an interest in reading books.
Anyways - I had volunteered to work in this library during our second free period, and for the first week all was pretty good. My friend Pen used to come in and chat to me sometimes, maybe to even help out a little. She aspired to become a librarian too once she’d finished her run in the Christmas performance (this story takes place in November).
However there soon came a new girl who had also apparently signed up to become a librarian as well.
Submit Anon: History Teachers
Seeing as I was a child bullied in middle school, I never truly had a weeb phase. The closest I ever got to a weeb phase was begging my best friend’s sister to call this man who work with the studio that made Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle and all those fantastic movies. Other than that I mostly just sniffled ((from either being bullied til I cried or from being sick half to dang time.)) and watching either Death Note, Soul Eater or Bleach. Now then I did not realIze there were two weebs in my new history class, my former teacher moved so we got a new teacher… Her name was Miss Tanaka, and she was a very lovely Japanese woman, and very into her culture. She wore a kimono to the first day to introduce herself and her background. The two weebs in the background merely stared in amazement at our teacher. So fast forward to a few months our Japanese teacher decided to dedicate a day to show us some Japanese culture. She brought two kimonos to class. For us to try on. One of the weebs tried on the women’s kimono, which fit around his beanpole body. And I was pushed forward to try on the man’s kimono which was very comfortable. The other weeb glared at me with her beady eyes ((beside that hambeast face)) so our teacher teaches us about Japan and it’s history and the area from which she came from. And she eve taught us a little bit of Japanese, like Hello, goodbye, how are you, and I love you. But of course halfway through the lesson weebs 1 and 2 decided to jolt up and ask “what about anime?!” Our history teacher looked at them and said. “Well, anime doesn’t really connect to history as it’s a more modern thing… But I suppose I can talk about it’d for a bit.” She spoke briefly about the history of animation and how anime came to be and after that day. The weebs began to sputter what little Japanese they knew. Claimed themselves experts on Japan and I don’t know HOW but both of them starting wear kimono’s to class… Which was against our uniform dress code. Anyways both of them were suspended for harassing my poor history teacher, after that Miss Tanaka never spoke another word of her culture. I visited her recently and she has every bit of anything resembling Japanese culture ((save for a tiny Japanese flag)) hidden away.
Submit Anon: ” I will break you if you don’t listen to me, I am the Princess.”
All is peacefull, there is the slight humming in the air from the combined efforts of several teen’s headphones, the comforting “click-clack” sounds of a woman typing away on her laptop, and nothing else but the breathing of everyone else around me. Yes, the library is one of the best places on this Earth, in my opinion. The calm and quiet almost gives reinsurance, and a feeling of safety I so often am without. However, good things all do come to an end, I suppose. That light sound of breath that once filled the air intensified, becoming raspy and forced, almost painful to listen to. I lift my gaze up from one of my favorite books, ” The Little Prince”, to see what the disturbance was, as many others seemed to follow my decision. There, stomping into the room, stood a female of massive proportions, that I will now attempt to describe for you all..
"Maybe I can hear Tobi if I put it to Japanese!"
In the 4th and 5th grade, I was a scary fucking weeaboo.
My sister was the one to introduce me to Anime and Manga at age 8. I enjoyed it casually, but after the 3rd grade and during the summer break I started to go through the dreaded weeb stage. At first I just said “Kawaii” occasionally and played Soul Calibur and Tekken a lot. But the second 4th grade started, it escalated quickly. I would come to school bragging of my knowing of Japanese, when really I only knew how to say “Tobi is a good boy”, dress…oddly, and all in all suck shit at drawing. I mean, my art was bad in the beginning, but this…just ugh. Anyway, I met a friend we’ll call “Xiaoyu” in the first few weeks. She had no idea what Anime was, but she would bear with me blabbing on and on about how I was gonna go to Japan next summer and become an Anime director. During that first week, I started to develop an odd obsession with Tobi, an Akatsuki Member from Naruto who I know view as mentally retarded. I always made little “nya” noises at pictures of him, and bless Xiaoyu’s soul she dealt with it. I was incredibly rude to her, and also very emotional. Once when she invited me to spend the night, I refused to eat because she didn’t have ramen, which I barely liked at the time. Anyway, my obsession with Tobi grew to a point where I made a shrine of him. On my wall, I took all the drawing of him I made and taped them up in some sort of heart formation, and always talked about it and acted as if I didn’t want people to know of it. I even annoyed my sister in Soul Calibur 2 by changing the voices to Japanese and claiming “I only change it to Japanese to hear Yoshi-kun talk in Tobi’s voice!” Soon enough I started to obsess over Japan more than Tobi. I remember clearly that I used to horde literally all the Japanese things in my house in my room, despite what they were. I even hid a plate because it said Japan on the bottom. In the 5th grade, I started to use Japanese more and went from Tobi to Hidan, another Akatsuki member. I would draw Jashin signs all over the playground and cry when people called them weird. I also bragged about being an Otaku (which I really am now, despite it being an insult) by showing them my shitty comics on TheOtaku.com and my horrifying IMVU account. Xiaoyu was going to a different school by now, so I was very lonely until I met another weeb we’ll call “Asuka”. Asuka was much, much worse than I, yet I worshiped her. I always talked of my crazy obsession with Hidan and laughed when she made stupid jokes about Hetalia. In the 6th grade this all vanished…except the Hidan obsession, which changed to Steve Fox, my VG crush who I still like today. To this day, though, I am an average Anime fan who still likes Tekken and Soul Calibur, but I always remember my weeaboo phase and cringe deeply.
Submit Anon: Boobs Do Not A Girl Make
I have several Weeb encounters I could probably share, but this most recent one just stands out because of just how ballsy this Weeb was.
I was in a local used bookstore with my mom, perusing the manga section. I’m not actually that big of a manga or anime fan anymore, but I try to keep up with series I read in my Anime phase, such as Berserk. Right across form me is what I can only describe as a furry OKCupid weeb from the furthest rung of Hell. The guy was sitting on one of the rolling stepstools that you aren’t supposed to sit on, with his greasy hair in a Duncan MacLeod ponytail and fox ears and I swear this guy isn’t important, he just kicks off the plot. I’m sure someone somewhere in the world has some Weeb stories to tell about that guy. I keep hearing him to turn around, and finally, as I’m looking at one of the sex scenes in Berserk, I hear ‘Yiff Yiff’ and this stupid giggle.
So last year I was going through some psychological issues, and I ended up being hospitalized. I was in the hospital several times before, so it seemed relatively normal. Until a week passed, and a new patient arrived. Let’s call him D (since I can’t remember his real name anyway).
Right off the bat, D seemed like your typical weirdo. He’d pretend to be other patients, or go by different names (most of them Japanese or fake-Korean), and even the nurses would get pissed off at him since the only reason he was even in the hospital was because he wasn’t taking his ADHD medication. There was a young Chinese woman there, whom he would constantly harass and ask if she was Japanese. He’d start speaking broken Japanese to her, which she couldn’t understand and thought he was just a lunatic. I usually stayed away from the other patients, but D ended up introducing himself to me anyway when the Chinese girl told him off (which he admitted later was really “kawaii”).
After a while, he started drawing pictures. Anime pictures. Now, back then I was a mild fan of anime myself. I was actually beginning to outgrow it, having become ashamed of my own weeaboo phase back when I was fourteen. But this MAN CHILD was twenty four. He always kept his eyes wide open and said that he had “anime eyes”. Really, it just looked like he was permanently “surprised”. He had this really creepy smile, and he’d call me “kawaii” all the time. He was obsessed with Dragon Ball Z and Yu Yu Hakusho. I guess the reason he decided to fixate on me was because I’m rather small, and I had dyed my hair pink back then, because I’d been going through an “alternative hair style” phase.
One day he suggested that we have a drawing contest, since I’d said that I liked to draw. We had one of the other patients judge our artwork. I won, and I’m not even that good an artist. But he drew like a ten year old that had just discovered hentai. He threw a hissy fit and started screaming and yelling.
The next day he started leaving drawings by my room door. Pictures of us. He’d always draw me looking “shy” or “submissive”, usually him with his arms around me. It was really weird. My roommate told me I should report him for harassment. I said I wouldn’t, since it was just pictures and that I could just ignore him.
Then he started sitting next to me at lunch. I’ve always had issues with food, so while he’d plow through his four plates of junk, he’d question me as to why I wasn’t eating anything. It was mostly because his eating habits were gross. He’d been there about a week by then, and I doubted that he’d bathed even once. He smelt like an old sock. It was awful.
Now, his room was next to mine. We had a joined bathroom, but the bathroom was always locked and we had to get permission to have it unlocked. We had separate shower times. One night, I kid you not, he started singing in really bad Japanese. He’d alternate between the Yu Yu Hakusho theme and the Dragon Ball Z theme. He’s switch between the English dub lyrics and the original Japanese. It was terrible. A lot of people thought he was having a nervous break down, or something to do with his ADHD. Eventually he went to sleep, either because his roommate had told him to shut his cake hole, or because it was three AM. Either way, I didn’t care. I prayed that it never happened again.
Which it did. Not the next night, but the two nights after that.
A week and a half after he’d arrived, his mother came to bail him out. Since he was in no immediate danger, nor a danger to anyone else, he was allowed to go home. I guess the doctors and nurses and techs were as annoyed as I was. As he walked down the hallway, in tow of his mother, he looked back at me with that creepy, pedobear smile.
After that, the nurses pointed out a stable improvement in my condition, which I have no doubt had everything to do with D’s discharge.
Submit Anon: The Freshman
Hullo! Now, my story may not be the MOST horrifying, but it very much scares me when I think about it. Or rather, when i think about the future of the girl who is the main point of the story.
Let’s call her Flower, which is not her real name, however being her name is a sort of flower I find it fitting. She also likes memes and has said the whole “hold my flower” bit a couple of good times. So yes- I met Flower Junior year. My friend had showed her a few of my drawings (no idea why) and we shook hands at a pep rally. She was a freshman and you could tell. You could just… tell. Nothing too bad, usually freshman attitude. Lazy, uncaring, carefree, “edgy and hip.” But she had a pretty face and I heard her talking about things that I liked. Mainly popular fandoms of Tumblr- she spouted inside jokes and memes. So, naturally, I became interested in this girl. And I hate to admit it because this came about so quickly, but I ended up with a crush on her. I didn’t find people with the same interests that often, granted she and I hadn’t really had a conversation yet.
Submit Anon: Chaos at Khaotic-Kon
Yo guys, whats up?
This is going to be really long because I am a whore for details.
Now this happened months ago, but i finally mustered up the courage to tell you my tale. I’m an avid cosplayer, but I rarely cosplay anime characters, mostly video game or american comic book characters. Recently I’ve been getting into Steampunk, and started cosplaying the musical robot Rabbit from the Steampunk band, Steam Powered Giraffe. And while I didn’t cosplay him at this certain con, called “Khaotic-Kon” I did use some of the props I made for his costume to wear at the con. (this is important)
Submit Anon: Flashbacks
This story is a bit long and wordy—also likely that it’s boring—because I have never posted here, but I have been aching to tell this, because of the unnerving feeling it left. I’ll refer to myself as R. Well, even though I hide behind anonymity, I feel as though ghosts from the past will know this post is me and send me some hate. Oh well~ at least I tried
When I was in high school, I was on the “Anime” Club (in quotations because it wasn’t called Anime Club due to covering several other hobbies and interests. Irrelevant) staff for two years, with the latter year spent as President of the club. By the time I was President, I had by far grown out of weebness, and sought to keep the club business together in a fun but organized way, to produce more activities, and let the club grow in a nice way. Some people in the club (including staff) did not adhere to such beliefs, and one can imagine the chaos that grew from weebness+chaos. Being in an all-girls school didn’t help with the squealing and glomping—definitely made it worse. Leeez-be honest here.
One of the most chaotic members, I shall call “Cupcake”, was someone all the girls in our school knew, and those who could, avoided her at all costs.
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Submit Anon: Confessions of a former weeb
When I found this blog, I was so disappointed that I didn’t have anything to contribute, despite having had multiple encounters with weeaboos and being an anime fan myself. That was, until I realized I actually did. I was a weeaboo horror story. I’m sure some of the holy terrors I have caused will fit in amongst this barrage of weeb horrors.
I really got into anime when I was in 6th grade, as I result of making friends with two girls, who I will call N & K. Despite everything, I remain very close friends with N to this day. Anyways, N introduced me to anime, and as a result, I began to watch Inuyasha, Death Note and Chobits religiously. Fast forward a few months later and many trips to Hot Topic and this is what you’ve got:
A chubby, greasy red head with long, unkept hair who looks like she dipped herself in super glue and rolled around in Death Note merchandise. Initiate calling self Goku-chan, Kawaii Desu Desu ~~ And the whole obnoxious, loudness of your typical Weeaboo. Also, I did the Caramelldansen on a regular basis cuz it was so kawaii desu-ne!!! Yep, that was me six years ago.
Most of the time, I was harmless with the exceptions of LOL SO RANDOM PANCAKES!!!1! outbursts (However, even this escalated to the point where N quit talking to me and black listed me for a while). Most of the time. Until I got kicked out of Barnes & Noble, with N and K in tow. Basically, N, K and I were trolling the manga section, when we met two other Weeaboos. All four of us were ecstatic to encounter our own species. Initiate squealing, yelling and general obnoxiousness x4. Seriously, the Weeb was strong in these specimens. One insisted on us calling her Sora, casually hinting it was her real name, which prompted a “SUGOI DESU!” out of me. After about 10 minutes, we are approached by an employee (if you know of Prof. Richard Dawkins, we had a running joke among my family that this employee and him were identical twins) and were asked to quiet down, politely but sternly.
Which we did, but not for long. Eventually, we were asked to leave. Initiate broken Japanese insults on my part, and customers death glaring us as we reluctantly left.
Man, I really regret those years. However, some good came out of it. N and I are now like sisters as a result of the many Weeb adventures we had, and the fact that we matured over the course of six years out of that horrible phrase together. We frequently laugh over old times. Now a days, I’m a casual Sailor Moon and Mushi-shi watcher and enjoy playing Pokemon and reading Azumanga Daioh occasionally on a slow day. I’ve shed my layer of hambeast grease (in fact I’m described by loved ones as a clean freak) and given all of my anime shirts to Good Will and a few younger friends. I’ve also started playing music and eating healthier. N has grown into an amazing artist and has acquired an amazing sense of humour.
I guess the moral of the story is, there’s always hope. :)